Tuesday, January 29, 2013

The Four Agreements

I am blessed to have had a very strong upbringing, supportive parents and siblings, as well as strong morals and values. Still, even though I have a backbone made of steel, the world can rear it's ugly head and I can be thrown into a tailspin. A nasty comment from some idiot can wreak havoc on my heart, I say nasty things to people I love out of my own frustration, my fears can get the best of me, or I just flat out don't feel good enough for anything on my plate. All of these are ridiculous feelings but, sure as the sky is blue, I will feel them again and I've learned that what is most important is how I deal with them before I get consumed by all of the negativity. Twelve years ago my mother gave me a book called, 'The Four Agreements' but I didn't actually pick it up until last year. After all, I was 14 years old when she bought it for me so clearly I didn't need any help from anyone much less a silly book. Then I grew up. Last year, as I flew through its pages I kept shaking my head, pressing my lips together and thinking to myself, 'Mama knows best. Lawd have mercy, mama KNOWS!' The Four Agreements are four simple rules that can help you find peace in any situation so it's only natural that I share with you this literary gold. Enjoy!

1. Be Impeccable With Your Word. "Speak with integrity. Say only what you mean. Avoid using the word to speak against yourself or to gossip about others. Use the power of your word in the direction of truth and love." If you ain't got nuthin' nice to say, don't say nuthin' at all.

Impeccable means “without sin” and a sin is something you do or believe that goes against yourself. It means not speaking against yourself, to yourself or to others. It means not rejecting yourself. To be impeccable means to take responsibility for yourself, to not participate in “the blame game.”

2. Don't take anything personally. “Whatever happens around you, don't take it personally... Nothing other people do is because of you. It is because of themselves.”  Some people are whack. Remember that.

“Whenever we hear an opinion and believe it, it becomes part of our belief system.”

"You have to trust yourself and choose to believe or not to believe what someone says to you.”  You got to love yo'self.

3. Don't make assumptions. "Find the courage to ask questions and to express what you really want. Communicate with others as clearly as you can to avoid misunderstandings, sadness, and drama. With just this one agreement, you can completely transform your life."

"When we make assumptions it is because we believe we know what others are thinking and feeling. We believe we know their point of view. We forget that our beliefs are just our point of view based on our belief system and personal experiences and have nothing to do with what others think and feel."  I'm also guilty of making assumptions based on my own experiences. It's not good. If we could all remember to just ask some questions once in while...And in the great words of Biggie Smalls, 'If you don't know, now you know.'

4. Always do your best. "Your best is going to change from moment to moment; it will be different when you are healthy as opposed to sick. Under any circumstance, simply do your best, and you will avoid self-judgment, self-abuse, and regret." Laziness, out! Hard work, in!

"Living in the moment and releasing the past helps us to do the best we can in the moment. It allows us to be fully alive right now, enjoying what is present, not worrying about the past or the future."
"Have patience with yourself. Take action. Practice forgiveness. If you do your best always, transformation will happen as a matter of course."

Thanks, Mom!!!! You are the bomb.com.

God Bless! Love, bohoG$

PS, You can order the book RIGHT HERE!

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