This weekend my very dear friend Whitney is
having her bachelorette party and, bless her sweet sweet soul, she chose one of my most favorite destinations on earth:
New Orleans. I already know I’ll be bouncing in my seat, 3 (maybe 5) vodka/cranberries
deep with my face smashed against the window as we hover over the swamplands in
preparation for our landing. There is something about crossing Lake Pontchartrain
– whether by car or by plane – that makes me a feel as if I’m indestructible…which
is actually a huge oxymoron because the only activities I take to in N’Awlins
are those of complete self-destruction. As I arrive at Louis Armstrong
International Airport – morals and liver hanging on by a thread – I know that
it will be a matter of hours..no, minutes…STRIKE THAT, milliseconds before friends and I are flying down the highway to
hell better known as I-10 East into New Orleans. Oh the charming streets of the
French Quarter are alive as you read these words. They call New York the city
that never sleeps but all my bets are on New Orleans. My Jane Doe VIP Card to
Larry Flynt’s Barely Legal Club hasn’t been swiped in months! Larry Flynt will
start walking when he sees the slew of women I show up with: Katy Perry,
Britney Spears, Shakira, Alanis Morisette, Lady Gaga, Nicki Minaj, Madonna—they’ll
all be there because…THAT’S HOW I ROLL! Well, kind of. We’ll be dressing up as
our favorite pop stars on Saturday night so… Ok now let me go back to my bad
ass voice. *clears throat* Jazz music, boudin, bimbos and booze is all I
will know from January 11th -January 13th. If you need
me, come see me! Or click here or here or here. Or call 504-827-6777. Please and thank you. Mom, I love you and… I’M OUT THIS
PIECE!!!! Well not yet, I’m still at work. But Friday...
The lovely bride and her terrified bridesmaid!
that last pic just made me LOL. please don't go to jail. but if you do i will bail you out. again. mwaaahahah....you and whit whit got a track record lil lady.
ReplyDeleteI'm DYING LAUGHING!!!!!!!!!! hahahahahahahah!!!!!
DeleteJulie and I were just talking about this! 'You have a collect call from *sobbing* "Graaaa-aaace"' Thanks for the reminder sis...the reminder that you are always there for me! So...do you still have a landline?
Deletenope, but i hear that you can call collect to cell phones now! so don't worry you are good!
DeleteLOVE IT! and you so could of got a better pic of me! LOL
ReplyDeleteFLAMING DR. PEPPERS AT GOLD MINE! DO IT OR ELSE!!!!!!!! http://goldminesaloon.net/
ReplyDelete