But if for some reason you haven't watched the Oscars, maybe you have been living in a hole the last few days, then don't read this. MAJOR spoiler alerts coming up, you Mole.
For starters the fashion:
A spin on her 2011 Academy award appearance when she wore this red Calvin Klein get-up that had every girl at home hating her. Then she opened her mouth and we all fell madly in love. Seriously, when does that ever happen? I love this girl, she has fallen twice, shaken her arm fat to the paparazzi, and just doesn't give a crap. She continues to do things that really make me want to be her BFF. Keep wearing red J-law, u so fine!
I love plunging neck lines, and i'm so glad they are back on the red carpet! That shade of blue was gorgeous on her dark skin and man her arms are RIPPED. I have to admit though, every time they said her name I kept thinking of the beloved Hippo breakfast taco in Freeport from our favorite mexican food spot, you guessed it, Lupita's!
These celebs also rocked the plunge:
Kate Hudson:
Charlize Theron:
Karen O
Angelina Jolie can do no wrong. She is just stunning and the clip of her acceptance speech for the Jean Hersholt Humanitarian Award had me in tears.
I love all these gowns too, but i'm not gonna get into all that cuz, ain't nobody got time fo dat.
Julia Roberts
Cate Blanchett
Julia Roberts
Cate Blanchett
Sandra Bullock
Hands down my favorite look was Kate Hudson.
Lawd have mercy she just glows. And when she came out to present they panned over to Goldie and Kurt and their smiles were so cute! They looked so proud, which made me like that family even more, in a completely creeper-i'm-obsessed-with-them sorta way. Look, I just know we'd be friends, that's all.
As for Ellen, she was HILARIOUS. Just the sight of her smile makes me giggle, because you never know what she is going to say. I love her sarcasm, and quick wit, soooo needless to say, I thought she was perfection. She totally saved what is usually, let's face it, a pretty boring show.
When she said, something along the lines of, "The night has endless possibilities, Possibility 1: 12 Years A Slave wins Best Picture, or Possibility 2: you are all racists, and now our first white presenter of the evening."
I was lol'ing. The pizza delivery was also great, though I kept watching to see if poor Kerry Washington actually got a slice. If that was me, I would have ripped that cheese pizza outta Julia Roberts hand with my exorcist voice and eyes, 'Hey America's Sweetheart, bite me, I'm pregnant!', something like that.
But knowing Julia she'd be totally okay with it, and would probably politely ask Meryl to give up her slice to the hungry pregnant girl as well, and of course Meryl would happily oblige. They are cool like that, trust me.
Oh and Ellen as Linda the Good Witch killed me.
Spoiler Alert: Liza Minelli's mom is Judy Garland!!!! I had NO IDEA.
Acceptance speeches:
Holy Jared Leto started the night off with a killer tux and best supporting actor speech.
Talk about setting the bar high. It was so sweet and genuine just like I remember him. {Lol, I can't even type that last part without laughing, it's such a lie, I don't really know him.} I love you Jared and your beautiful ombre hair, and can I get some tips from your mom, because she clearly did SOMETHING right.
The couple that won best song for Frozen were super cute too, especially the wife at the end. You can view it here.
Oh on a sad note, James Gandolfini, ugh, what a loss. Seeing his picture flash was such a sad reminder, and jeez following it up with Wind Beneath My Wings? Is the Academy trying to kill us?
Don't worry I'm not gonna leave you with a sad note. This is a video I sent to Sarah after she sent me this lovely picture of her 'Oscar Party' with Jason.
How lovely.
We put him to bed a short time later. I'd be lying if I said this wasn't a normal noise level in my house.
And finally my favorite pic from the night, and everyone else's favorite pic since it crashed Twitter………..
{My besties from left to right: bottom row: Jared, Jenn, Meryl, Ellen, Brad C, top row: Jules, Kev, Brad P, Lupie, Ang}
So that is all I got! Until next time!
Your pretty half ass Oscars reporter,
bohoBoolie
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