Tuesday, November 20, 2012

My Shoe Penitentiary



Yeah… those are my feet alright. Each day as I get dressed I test my luck to see if my sister’s coral Christian Louboutin's might match the rest of my business casual attire. Not only are they much too saucy for corporate America but they’re too dang big!!! You see, Sarah aka bohoS, is my landlord. Two years ago, before she was whisked away by her very own Casanova, she purchased a comfy little abode for us to live in. Now, two babies and an engagement ring later, I’m cutting her rent checks and swooning over beautiful shoes that I’ll never get to wear. Meanwhile, Sarah is bearing the children of the man of her dreams and dangling her Loubous in front of me like a carrot. This was all part of her plan. The big sister bullying never stopped. I finally got over years of her telling me that I was adopted and now this. Sarah, *tear* I beg of you. Stop torturing me. I am a prisoner of your shoes. If only your heart were as big as your foot. Take the heels away or give me death! I used to pray for bigger breasts and now I pray for bigger feet. I’ve yet to receive either…

Alone and desperate for your shoes,
Anguish. Suffering.
Agony. Affliction.



1 comment:

  1. AHHHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAAAAA!!! Beautiful Grace, this is the funniest post yet! Love the shoes, too. ~Robin