Monday, July 28, 2014

Marriage aint no joke.

It's serious and it's fun, it's cozy and delicious and it's work.  Hard work that nothing in life can really prepare you for.  Like take a serious look at yourself and question your thoughts, your reactions, your everything.
I am a newly wed.  I've been married 8 glorious months.  I am by NO means an expert. 

In the last 8 sweet months I have eaten my share of humble pie, and I read something today I wanted to share.  Dr. Alexandra H. Soloman a clinical psychologist at the Family Institute of Northwestern University says the million dollar question that all happy couples are willing to ask, over and over: 

"What's it like to be in a relationship with me right now?"

"Rather than me pointing out to you what it's like to be in relation to you, it's asking, what's it like to be with me? What kind of energy am I bringing into this relationship right now? How am I showing up?" Solomon says.

Approaching your partner in this way sets the conversation up for reconnection rather than distance, she says.

Along with that question, Solomon gives another solution to help couples reconnect. It's simple: Hold hands and make eye contact.

"It's very difficult to feel disengaged when we're looped in with eye contact," she says. "It just kind of kicks off this whole yummy physiological process of reminding us who the other person is and it can get the juices flowing and get couples started on the road to reconnection."

I love being married to this man, and I love what it is teaching me about myself, about life and about family.  I knew it would be work, but I never expected how rewarding that work would be!  I hope Dr Solomon's  advice helps you on those inevitable days when you want to claw your sweet spouses eye balls out.



  1. As an 8-month newlywed myself, I absolutely LOVE this post. So happy that you're happy, girl...and that you love sharing it with the Boho world! :)

    1. Thanks so much Adrian!! Hope all is well... I think of you often :)

  2. I love this! Thank you for sharing!

  3. This advice is SO great!!! I just love it and will reference it often, you can NEVER stop learning in a marriage, 8 months, 8 yrs, doesn't matter! thank you beverly! love u!!!!!